Spiffy McSpiffters & the Giant Cheesypoof of Luck
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: Akito gets a bit delusional from the sun and thinks she is Spiffy McSpiffters, God of Cheesypoofs! She goes off on a random adventure to China to obtain the giant, orange, cheesypoof of luck. But what obstacles lie ahead?


**A/N:**

**I had an urge to write another random adventure story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Akito. I do own Spiffy McSpiffters, God of Cheesypoofs.**

It was a bright, sunny day at the house of Akito Sohma, viciously cruel, insane and dictating family head, also known as "Spiffy McSpiffters, God of Cheesypoofs". She decided to go for a walk. She put on her adventures clothes and headed outdoors.

"La, la, la" She chanted flatly, walking across the vast open plain known as the garden. The sun was beating down like a… sun beating down. It was much too hot for Spiffy McSpiffters, so she complained.

"It's too hot, Hatori!"

"Yes, I know. Go inside Akito. You know what happens when it's too hot. You start becoming delusional and imagine your Spiffy McSpiffters, God of Cheesypoofs. So please, for the love of god, go inside!"

But Spiffy McSpiffters wasn't that weak! She knew when she was hallucinating or not. Or, so the fat gangsta donkey on 75th street told her. Spiffy McSpiffters then had a wonderful idea. An idea, so wonderful, it was turned into a fanfiction.

Spiffy McSpiffters was going to… CHINA!

She packed in her knapsack a banana, some lube, scissors, some moldy cheese and a piece of string, before setting of on her journey.

She was thirty seconds into her trek when she was already at the Great Wall of China. She gasped at the magnificence of it, before calling Hatori.

"Hatori! I'm at the great wall of China!"

"No, Akito, your at the gate of Sohma Estate. I thought I told you to go inside!"

"There is no Akito here! Ooh… pretty genie girl!"

Spiffy McSpiffters had come along something so rare, she wet herself thinking about it. It was a genie girl, in a lamp! No, seriously. It was Kisa wearing a lamp shade.

"Hello, crazy genie girl! Grant me a wish!"

Now, to a 12 year old girl, a vicious family head drugged up and hallucinating because of the sun is pretty scary. So, Kisa began to cry.

"Thanks for granting my wish! My wish that everyone will be able to have peace and love within their homes!"

Spiffy McSpiffters walked over the Great Wall of China and into… China. She then walked across a perilous and almost endless track, to a foreign and ancient building (Shigure's house).

She carefully walked inside, as she didn't want to disturb any ancient old people.

"Shigure…" Kyo whispered, "Why is Akito here, dressed in explorers clothing? Is something the matter?"

"Yes. She hallucinates when it's hot"

Spiff McSpiffters then saw the giant, orange cheesypoof of luck. Grinning, she walked carefully towards it. This is what she had come to China for! She reached out, before sayng out loud,

"In the movies, the adventures always have to put a bag of sand where the precious item used to be. I had better do that too, or my name is Spiffy Jane Mary Akito McSpiffters!"

Spiffy McSpiffters then reached for the stuff in her knapsack and dumped them on top of the giant, orange cheesypoof of luck. This was actually Kyo's head, believe it or not.

She grasped a hand full of his hair and tugged it out, before running away. But then, a giant action movie-like ball chased after her! She didn't want to be squashed!

"Dammit! Give me back my hair!"

Kyo was pissed off. Very, VERY pissed off. He had lube where his hair should be, dammit! So, he decided to chase after Akito. But, he didn't realize Akito thought he was a ball. A giant boulder, actually.

Spiffy McSpiffters screamed and ran out the door of the ancient building establishment, back over the great wall of china, back through the magical plains and into her bedroom, where it was surprisingly… cold…

"Damn, why do I have some of that MONSTER'S hair in my hand. What's been going on? Hello? Hatori!"

"Akito, you thought you were Spiffy McSpiffters again. You went out in the sun"

"You see Hatori," She said venom dripping from every word, "This is why I loathe summer's. That damn Spiffy McSpiffters! I'll kill you, even if it's the last thing I do! Damn you!"

"Spiffy McSpiffters is you. You would be killing yourself"

"STOP RUINING THE DRAMATIC AFFECT!"

"Sorry…"

**A/N:**

…**What the hell?**


End file.
